Mave
bought you a
BMW.
That someone is Mave. Mave once split a coffee bill three ways. He has a laminated list of people who owe him. He charges emotional interest. But today? Today he's feeling dangerously generous.
Made with love, zero dollars,
an alarming amount of confidence,
Okay. Who are you?
Mave was extremely specific. This gift belongs to @bombnuclear. Not your cousin. Not your friend. Not some random Ahmed. Sorry, Ahmed.
Here it is, @bombnuclear.
Mave wrapped it himself. It really shows.
Congratulations!
You have successfully received... absolutely nothing. Mave says this was "part of the experience."
psst — tap the car. it does nothing. do it anyway.
It's a BMW.
Big Mave Wish. Fully imaginary. Infinite miles per gallon. Zero insurance. Zero parking tickets. Zero car. Mave's wallet remains completely untouched — your dreams, however, have been through a lot. Please be gentle with them.